The Holiday Season is Approaching

The holiday season is approaching, and that means that decorations must be arranged, turkeys and ham must be carved and cut, all sorts of delicious foods prepared, and everyone is in the spirit of giving, helping, and doing for others. Yet many of us during the holidays don’t feel as if we can truly be a part of the celebration. Sure, we can all take, we can all enjoy from what others have to offer us, but sometimes, when we feel as if we are not able to truly give back in a significant way, especially during a time when everyone else seems to be doing so, the feeling of helplessness and being a burden seem to overwhelm us. During these times, it might seem easier to simply keep out of sight, to let those who can truly help, can truly give back, and can really be a contribution, do what must be done. It might seem a good idea to just stay out of the way, especially if we can’t see enough to carve the turkey, cut a slice of pie, cut down a holiday tree and set up the decorations, help move furniture around, and do all of those other things that our sighted family members and friends seem to do effortlessly. There are times when we do try to contribute, and are met with: “oh, that’s ok, I’ll get it.” Or “don’t worry about that, I’ll have one of the kids take care of it.” And we all know that our friends and family members mean well, but what they are really saying, and what we are taking from these comments are that such tasks, no matter how difficult or menial, are not going to be done correctly by us. It’s much more convenient that someone with sight take care of things, even if that someone might be a 7 year old child, or a person with much less mobility then us, someone who if it had not been for our lack of vision, would never have been asked to take on that responsibility. It isn’t easy to go from feeling helpless to suddenly challenge the world and prove that you are just as capable as everyone else. But we can start to change those thoughts of helplessness a little at a time. One of those ways is to be around people who do the things you want to do. Just from being around confident blind people, individuals who are either dealing with their vision loss or blindness in ways that appeal positively to us, we can pick up tricks, techniques, ideas and find great support for handling those situations that alone, have overwhelmed us in the past. The other day someone told me that their whole lives, they had been afraid to carve a turkey because they did not feel comfortable with their vision and using a really sharp knife to carve the holiday bird. But after observing a fellow center client saw through the turkey like an expert, under the use of sleep shades, they were convinced that they had been afraid of nothing for a very long time, that this was a simple task, and that they were ready to go home and carve their own turkey for their family during thanksgiving. Hey, something to consider is that bird is going to be eaten whether the lights are on or completely off, and believe it, if the lights go completely off on thanksgiving, someone will still carve the bird, serve the food, uncork the wine, pick up after the kids and nobody would say: “well, perhaps we better wait until tomorrow morning to eat because we will be able to have enough light to see and serve the food by then." Let’s not be afraid to do something because we think that someone with sight might be able to do a faster, better, or neater job. Perhaps your first Turkey will not be beautifully carved, but your second turkey will certainly be better, and the third, and forth and fifth will increase as you gain experience and confidence carving, or hauling wood, or setting the table, preparing the mashed potatoes, walking the neighbor’s dog, washing a friend’s car as a gift for getting free rides to and from the supermarket, anything we can think of. The more we do it, the better we will be at it. But we need to start somewhere. Perhaps this year we will carve the bird, perhaps next year we will prepare it, perhaps the year after we can pass on what we learn to someone else. Every journey no matter how large or small begins with a first step. Ask questions, meet people who have gone or are going through the things which you are living through, but remember, don’t remain stagnant. Step out of your comfort zone, even if those first few steps are small. Happy Holidays Alex Castillo.